I had smooth morning of the usual routine and 90mins yoga practice.
I was aware that I was feeling anxious for what is coming as part of the cleanse and it will be the beginning to the peak of the cleanse. I tried to calm my mind and went for facial, not that I need it because the cleanse had make my skin look flawless, but I was attempting to distract myself away from my anxiety.
Day 6 schedule:
4pm: finish all juices. I had prepared only 2 liters of them so it wasn’t hard to finish by this time. Tick tock and my anxiety grow..
6pm: 1st batch of 200ml Epsom salt water. I add a couple drop of lemon to cut away the salt taste and honestly to help keep those salt down my throat without puke it right back out.
Started to feel sick, stomach gurgling…expect this if you are doing it, nothing is wrong, it is part of it.
8pm: 2nd batch of 200ml Epsom Salt water. The feeling of sick amplified, by now, I started my toilet run
Tick tock still my anxiety grow…dreading still the peak of the cleanse…
Finally, the time has arrived
9.30pm: I prepared my ‘death by choice’ potion as I call this last drink.
1 cup extra virgin olive oil
(About 200ml) 1-2 grapefruit juice
Couple drops of walnut tincture.
In this case, shake not stir the bottle
10pm: here goes nothing and gulp it all down. BOTTOMS UP!! Seriously, i thought of those days chugging down beer bottles, beer bongs, downing awful taste shots, flashback of my partying days was flashing rapidly in my head. I was trying my very best to distract myself from the shocking taste of the mixture. I threw up slightly in my mouth and swallowed it back down. Iikkkkk..yes seriously iikkk..that was so far away from attractive as I slumped down my kitchen sink, I felt massively ill.
Drag myself to my bed, lie on my right side and start envisioning in my head everything that I want to flush out of my systems. I started with all feelings I no longer want. I no longer want to live in fear, I no longer want to act from a place of insecurity and fear, I no longer need the approval of people; then images of people- Those who had hurt, betrayed, who still act as ‘friend’ but creating injury and harm behind my back as they think i was not aware of their action, took my time and said my goodbyes to all of them, I imagine them all leaving my energetic space; then things, events and old stories of all my past traumas and heart breaks. I have long moved on, so their imprints i need to let go. I spent half an hour doing this, then toilet run.
I didn’t get to sleep the night, was breaking out in cold sweat, my whole body ached,I felt nauseous. I was trying to hang on till morning but by 3am, i threw up massively and cried over the toilet bowl, a mixture of pain and sadness flood over me as I empty myself out. I felt as if something had ‘died’ in my bathroom that night, 30mins later I drag my exhausted self to bed.
I ‘died’ in day 6
6am: I downed the 3rd batch of 200ml Epsom Salt water cursing and swearing. I tried to catch some shut eye to ride out the taste and feel massively sick . I told myself ‘f- the last batch of Epsom salt, m not gonna f- ing do it, this is so f-ing insane, who the f- can f-ing do this s-’
Well you get the picture…
8am: standing over the kitchen sink one last time, contemplating of throwing the last 200ml Epsom salt water down the sink..then a flash of sanity came over me ‘you gonna f-ing drink it, you don’t come this far to cop out short at the finish line..you gonna f- ing drink it and grow the f- up’ yes..my conscience swears too..
So I lifted the last glass and I said to myself ‘cheers Pegs, to life to all the heartaches, sorrows, pain and struggles, take their lessons and its time to say goodbye and end them here right now..and open up to new beginning and new possibility’ and of course I cried again and downed the mofo
I can’t describe the next 2hrs. It was mostly dazed as I felt poisoned, continued with the toilet run till all my gallbladder stones and tons of oils came out many times and lots of them. I literally felt like I emptied out.. All of me were out, literally!!!!! I felt vulnerable and tender as I continued to sob. In one night, I had gone through all the stages of grief, from sadness to anger to bargaining to accepting and eventually I was overwhelmed with massive gratitude.
10am: I was allowed to eat a banana. I can’t think of putting anything solid into my system, I stick with warm organic manuka honey.
11.30am: I felt as if the fog had been slowly lifted, a new life was unveiled. The light at the end of the tunnel and i was grateful for the warm sunny day. I felt alive,new and fragile. Oh yeah, it’s a good day to be alive and to feel Alive
1pm: drank my first smoothie of avocado, coconut oil, agave, organic molasses and soy milk. Such joy…I smiled to myself, look on the mirror told myself ‘you f-ing ROCK girl’ so awesome!
I mentally look back one last time, saw that young girl standing there, give her one last kiss, said one last goodbye, her young spirit will always live within me, and it is time for us to grow up, stand in our new ground, leave the past behind and close the door to the chapter that consist of first half of my life as I open a new chapter,new beginning.
Finish line day 7
I hope this journey has inspired those of you who has been curious about juice fasting, healthy and safe way to detox yourself. Although, it was tough, I would definitely do it again. I am currently on day 4 off the juice fasting and I had been taking it easy and had only been on Salad and light broth.
Today, I had proper dinner with my dear friend Kenny at one of his favorite spot in Hongkong. I had not been craving for meat, coffee, alcoholic drink or cigarettes! It has been SUPER!
I have to highlight the importance of rest throughout the process especially after the completion. The body need time to recover, so get lots of shut eye time, minimum 8hrs a day. Do Not make my mistake of pushing regular 12-13hrs of work then keeping up with the social calendar during the process, it only complicate and make the process harder, especially after the completion.
So..give it go!!! Jump into it like I did and rock your toxins out!!
At the end, I wish you a wonderful journey (detoxing or not). I hope for you to live a healthy, respectful life for yourself. A life of integrity, a life where you stand within your own truth so that you can continue to evolve and serve your highest purpose.
Peggy Santosa M.A.
Reference: all cleansing materials and support are courtesy of Sara Varela of Positive Living (www.positiveliving.com.sg)
For SaraVarela liver gallbladder detox upcoming group detox please email email@example.com